Ten things you WILL do from sleep deprivation after having a baby

  1. Put hairspray under your arms instead of deodorant.
  2. Pour hot water from the kettle over your cereal.
  3. Convince yourself something has fallen from the sky.
  4. Walk into walls quite frequently.
  5. Pour expressed breast milk into a visitor’s coffee. (Sorry workman.)
  6. Sit on the toilet and realise that you are actually weeing through your underwear and pyjamas.
  7. You will cry a lot.
  8. Loose things. (Baby not included.)
  9. Misplace (very different from loose) the baby.
  10. Hate yourself for hating those people who told you to go to bed when you were pregnant.